I Take Nothing for Granted

Since Katrina, my mind is full but my life is empty. I keep thinking of questions that I feel powerless to answer: Why did the disaster have to go the way it did, with so much needless suffering? Why has the rebuilding process been riddled with ineptitude and inadequacy so that even the well-meaning have been reduced to divisive competition for scarce resources? Will I ever again feel connected to a place or a community? What do I need to do to start enjoying life again? Before Katrina, I suppose I took some things for granted, which is not the most admirable way to live your life. But since Katrina, I take nothing for granted and I find my guarded distrust of the world to be depressing.

Donna Bonner, a native New Orleanian and a cultural anthropologist that lived and worked in New Orleans. She is currently completing an ethnographic memoir of her Katrina experiences.

My Holiday Greeting

This is the card I sent via email to my friends, associates and family.

Wiser and Sadder

Since Katrina, we’ve all seen more change than many humans experience in their lifetimes.
Since Katrina, we know what only a few select human beings know, that an entire world can be destroyed overnight.
Since Katrina, some of us cry easily. Others never cry at all.
Since Katrina, we’ve learned how to scream in the face of injustice.
Since Katrina, we’ve gotten used to the fact that our screams may not be heard.
Since Katrina, we’ve accepted loss as an inevitable part of life.
Since Katrina, we are all wiser and much sadder.

Donna Bonner is a native New Orleanian and a
cultural anthropologist now in Austin TX.

Poverty

Since Katrina...I know the true face of poverty.

Tiffany Probasco, Assistant to Dean Jonathan M. Tisch, College of Citizenship and Public Service, Tufts University

Old sense of balance

Since Katrina, I want to read more. I'm a person who generally has more books shelved than I have read. It's a rainy day thing. After the storm, I was in survival mode and everything to be done seemed to be required immediately--once I figured out how it was supposed to be done. The pace I have still seems rushed albeit more manageable now. I think the reason that I notice not reading is because it requires a measure of slowing down. I feel--I watch myself rushing and it seems overkill at this juncture where things are coming together. It's like I'm stuck on frantic fast and reading is something that generally I do slowly. Since Katrina I have yet to regain my old sense of balance. I miss that.

Shari L. Smothers, archivist for the Surviving Katrina and Rita in Houston project

Citizen Journalism

Since katrina I've gained many new insights. For one, the contribution of blogs & citizen journalism to the disaster has truly awakened me to the enormous power & potential of real time, collaborative, personal & social media. Lately I think about how we the people - I mean traditional journalists & ordinary citizens alike -might harness the power of this new form of media to forge new ground in responding to crisis.

Margaret Saizan

Beyond Katrina

A mature burden

Since Katrina, I have become an 22 year old with the responsibilities of a 50 year old. Prior to Katrina I was a college student with nothing more then my final exams to worry about. My grandmother lived in Gentilly and lost her home of 20 years, and soon after the storm had a stroke. My parents live overseas so the responsibility of care-giving fell on me. My grandmother moved in with me. In February of last year she had a heart attack and had to be placed in a nursing home. Seeing the deterioration of my grandmother has caused me to worry and think about my own mortality. There are many other ways that Katrina has effected my life, but this is the main reason I cant sleep at night.

-not so naive anymore

One foot in front the other

Since Katrina... I have found that at 70 and 'a cancer survivor, I can still pick myself up and put one foot in front of the other and keep going. We lost our home to a slab near the beach in Biloxi. We took nothing when we left on Saturday because the storm was heading west of New Orleans and we thought we would only get 50-60mph winds, ie: limbs and minor debris. We took one change of clothes because we thought we would be returning Monday evening or Tuesday morning and just need to clean our yard. You can't begin to know the feeling of driving down US90, dodging debris and changing from lane to lane, to make it to our street. Once there, we could see all the homes gone! Fifteen to the ground and another eight flooded but standing.
After looking at the mess all we could do was thank God we didn't stay and begin the struggle to regain our lives. I lost everything in Camille in 1969 with 9 feet of water in my house but we rebuilt it and recovered in a couple of years. I was only in my 30's then and it was much easier.
Now, over a year later, we are still in a FEMA trailer (which I am thankful for) and trying to rebuild a house we bought with storm damage.
Yet, after all this, we feel luckier than most. I was able to get a job and we are doing pretty good now. Yes, we miss our pictures, antiques, art, family heirlooms, etc. but in reality, they are only things but they were our things.
God bless all the survivors and success on your recovery.

Contributed by Larry

I hope I am wrong

Since Katrina I can never take my friends for granted again.
Since Katrina I have nightmares of water pouring into my hometown nearly every night.
Since Katrina I have become quieter, grimmer, more serious. I have much of my sense of humor and my hope that the universe is somehow a fair and a beautiful place after all.
Since Katrina I wonder if my dream of ever moving back home to New Orleans is the stupidest idea ever or the most loyal gesture I could possibly make.
Since Katrina I feel incredibly guilty that I moved not long before the storm, while my family and my possessions were unscathed, most of the people I loved lost everything they had or waded through filthy waters for hours and barely escaped with their lives.
Since Katrina my friends are scattered all over the country and I don't know if I will ever see any of them again, much less ever have them all in one place where I can visit them again.
Since Katrina, my community has been shattered, and I think that is something beyond repair, although I hope I am wrong.

Raven's Star

The pictures

Since Katrina I have not been collecting pictures. I don’t see the point any more. I still have the ones on my laptop, but the ones that documented growing up and changing, they are all gone. Maybe it's better this way. Sometimes photos let us hold on to the past when we really should be paying attention to the present and creating a future. Loosing my photos was are real hard blow. I want to be able to say to myself "it's okay, they are just pictures," but that would not be true. They were not just pictures when I had them and they are still not just pictures now they are gone. Yet, deep down I have to acknowledge that they are just gone and I am here. Picture that.

Nicole Eugene, blog editor